It’s really hard sometimes to step out of your own perspective. People always say, “put yourself in their shoes.” But that’s a lot easier said than done. I think this world would be a vastly different place if more people thought about the perspectives of others’ outside of their own culture/experience/upbringing. Of course, you never truly know what it’s like to be anyone other than yourself, but trying to see things from another perspective at least helps.

I’ve spoken about this a bit in my “Unlearning” video on my YouTube channel, but I also wanted to discuss it here, especially given that I’m starting a new series on my YouTube channel documenting my journey of Christian Deconstruction. Today’s blog post is going to essentially be a sort of stream of consciousness style script for a video I will make in the future.

So, part of my journey of deconstruction, means that I’m listening to podcasts, watching videos, reading things and following social accounts of other people talking about deconstruction. The people who run those accounts run the gamut of religious belief, some people still consider themselves Christians, while other people may have gone all the way to agnosticism. A lot of the conversations I’ve been seeing about Christianity/Deconstruction/Evangelicalism happen on TikTok and that’s sort of what’s inspired this post.

The other day I saw a post that was essentially talking about someone’s relationship with Christianity and Christians and it was quite negative and it rubbed me the wrong way. I wish I could remember it better but I remember watching it and listening to what they were saying and feeling really sad after. Sometimes people who have left the church are really negative about it and can be really dismissive of believing Christians. Like, “Oh I can’t believe you would believe in something like that.”

I’m of two minds about this, because I am blessed/lucky/fortunate enough to not have experienced a lot of trauma from my Christian upbringing. So on the one hand I want to defend the church, “We’re not all like that.” “Jesus is accepting.” “You are loved.” Etc. But on the other hand, I know that these exact sentiments have been used to harm people, to make them feel trapped and stuck and alone.

It’s depressing for me, to be my age and growing up in a generation that is increasingly moving away from the church. Because for me, my faith has brought me a lot of comfort. I see so many of my peers abandoning it and I understand, I do. But for me, at least right now, I couldn’t leave. I love Christ so much, still. My faith in the church as an institution wavers every day, my faith in my Savior remains.

I want so badly to redeem my religion from the way that the world has twisted it. I understand abandoning it. In the face of all of the persecution and exclusion that mainstream Christianity appears to be about, I get it. But for me, for now, the words and actions of Christ while he was on Earth is my belief system. He was fiercely accepting and loved others through and through. That’s how I choose to live my life too.